Rolling out the red carpet for ET
The United Nations (UN) one-world government is laying out the red carpet for its alien masters, according to insiders within the totalitarian regime.
As the chief organisation of the New World Order, the UN has already established the super-secret Office of Outer Space Affairs (UNOOSA).
Now it has appointed a little-known Malaysian 'astrophysicist' - Mazlan Othman - to head the welcoming party. Her role will be confirmed by the top UN Illuminati using a Royal Society conference in Buckingham, England as a cover for their meeting.
"The timing is highly significant," said Professor William H Carpenter, leader of the Carpenter Foundation for Intergalactic Networking. "We know that the Pope - the vicar of the New World Order - has just been to England. It's clear he was making preparations. No doubt he will sneak back unannounced to attend this so-called conference."
Carpenter also points to the current withdrawal of troops from Iraq.
"They're going to be needed at home," he explains. "The UN may be happy about a visit from thousands of extraterrestrials in highly advanced craft with devastating weapons, but most people are going to feel a tad uneasy."
There will be riots, said the Prof. He advises everyone to stay calm, buy guns and make sure you have plenty of canned food.
Limeys lick alien invaders
A warship of England's Royal Navy has shot down a UFO. But already a cover-up has started to suppress reports of the engagement.
The epic battle with alien forces took place in the skies above the Beatles' home town of Liverpool - in broad daylight.
According to press reports, the destroyer, HMS Daring, lived up to its name when it engaged and defeated the extraterrestrial invaders even though the ship was docked!
Yet few newpapers and no TV stations have reported this historic battle. And those reports that have been published online have been toned-down, suggesting that HMS Daring merely 'tracked' or 'followed' the alien craft.
"It was another great victory to add to the long list of battle honors for the Royal Navy," said Rear-Admiral Julian Uppington-Harris, RN (retd). "Outnumbered and outgunned, Daring was still able to see off these upstart aliens. I mean, who do they think they are coming into this country without our permission and without identifying themselves? I bet our Immigration people would have a few things to say about that. And I bet these aliens don't have jobs or qualifications."
Eyewitnesses saw bright lights soaring across the sky. One flabbergasted Liverpudlian said: "They were exactly like flares. But they weren't flares. I haven't seen flares, but flares don't look like that."
Immediately, HMS Daring's weapons zoned in on the invaders.
"It was a bit tricky," said Uppington-Harris who, since retiring from the Navy, has run a new-age boutique in the Speke area of Liverpool, selling crystals, homeopathy, Orgone accumulators and massage services. "Because the British armed forces have run out of money, Daring still doesn't have its radar-guided Phalanx guns. Nor its main weapons, the PAAMS missiles. But I understand that several able-bodied seamen and the Purser were quickly issued rifles and engaged the alien spacecraft."
Certainly, onlookers on shore reported that the bright lights quickly disappeared.
The aliens used advanced 'cloaking' technology making their spacecraft very stealthy. According to spokespeople for the nearby airport, there was no trace of the extraterrestrial craft on radar.
"I want to know why this glorious victory is being hushed-up," said Uppington-Harris. "It's clear to me that reports on the web are being censored and rewritten even as we speak, by dark foces within the Government. Yet, let's face it, Britiain could do with a few more successes. And what could be better? Here's an entirely new species from a distant world and, thanks to the might of the Royal Navy, we've managed to wipe it out. It's like the good old days of the Empire."
Was Adolph an Abductee?
Art experts have stunned the world with the revelation that Adolph Hitler painted a UFO - long before he became the world renowned Nazi leader.
The Nazis are known to have reverse engineered alien spaceships. Now historians are beginning to ask what role Hitler's early contact with aliens might have played in his rise to power and the early successes of the Nazi regime.
Connoisseur and militia leader William H Carpenter, head of the Carpenter Foundation for Extraterrestrial Research & the Arts, says that Hitler's 1913 painting of Madonna and Child clearly shows a flying saucer beaming death rays.
Art critics have traditionally dismissed the object, which is seen hovering over fields in the background of the painting, as a poor rendition of the sun. "Most people know Hitler was a painter," says Rupert Poncy-Eversnoott, critic-at-large for leading London art autioneers Cysties. "But not everyone knows just how crap he was."
But Carpenter's reassessment of the painting comes to a much more sinister conclusion. "Hitler was known to paint from life," he says, "and I have no doubt that this is a scene he personally witnessed - apart from the Virgin Mary and Jesus, of course. The rest of the painting is executed with great skill. I have no doubt that the same goes for that unearthly craft in the background."
But was this the only time the budding genocidal maniac came into contact with extraterrestrial forces?
"Hitler's rise to power and the Nazis' stunning successes in conquering Europe, these can be explained in only one way," says Carpenter. "He had help."
Carpenter believes that Hitler may have been abducted by the same aliens he painted. "Alien abductees share some common traits," he says. "They believe themselves to have been chosen for a special purpose. They have a special message for the world which only they can deliver. If that doesn't describe Hitler, I don't know what does. And the aliens who abducted Hitler that day were themselves embroiled in a great conflict, which would have given Hitler a very warlike attitude."
Carpenter claims the proof of this is that the painting actually shows a battle between two extraterrestrial spacecraft.
"The saucer is at the top, cut in half by the edge of the painting," he explains. "If Hitler had simply imagined this, he would have been more careful. The way the saucer is cropped by the frame reminds us of photographs, snapshots where people's heads or feet are cut off. It's evident that Hitler was painting furiously and without any thought for composition. And that's because he was painting a dramatic scene unfolding in front of him."
According to Carpenter, the death rays emanating from the saucer partly mask another spacecraft - a triangular UFO. Yet triangular UFOs wouldn't become popular until 70 years after Hitler painted this image, and 40 years after the dictator's death.
"Clearly, this is a visionary painting," says Carpenter. "It demonstrates an insight into celestial entities and their technology that could only have been gained through direct contact."
The lack of documentary evidence to support the idea that Hitler was an alien abductee, and that the Nazis used alien technology, leads inevitably to one conclusion, claims Carpenter.
"It's a conspiracy," he says. "I believe a secret Nazi-Zionist-Marxist cabal of terrorist bankers is harboring this knowledge, this technology and will exploit it for their own sinister ends, probably as society begins to break down in the current economic depression."
We should all be alert for the signs, he says. But who should we watch?
"The Germans," he says. "It's always the Germans."