Mormon Dumbo Baby
A mormon mother-to-be died giving birth to a weird elephant baby, claim scientists in Utah.
The doomed mommy had been a shut-in for several years, say neighbours - too fat to leave the house. Police reports estimate she weighed more than 1,000lbs at the time of death.
"It took three years for this baby to be born," said the woman's OBGYN, who works part-time at the Salt Lake City Zoo. "I mean, like its mother, it just wouldn't come out. Kept getting bigger 'n' bigger. Something had to give. Finally, the poor mom just burst!"
Doctors first became concerned when they realised the woman had been pregnant for more than 12 months. They tried persuading the mother to have the baby induced, but she refused all medical treatment on religious grounds.
According to volunteer fireman Dan Ehat, who was among the first on the scene, "It was a real mess. I mean, I been in Falluja, all over the Sunni triangle, I've even committed war crimes, but I've never witnessed anything as gross as this." Seven members of the rescue squad that attended the fatal birth are now receiving treatment for post traumatic stress.
"No-one knows how she got pregnant," said one specialist. "I mean, it doesn't bear thinking about, does it?"
A local Hindu sect has denied any responsibility and say they won't be treating the weird offspring as divine, in spite of the baby's resemblance to the god Ganesh.
A spokesman for the family said that the future of the baby hasn't been decided but that they were "considering a number of offers" from circuses, laboratories and movie studios.