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Secret Weapon in Presidential Race

McCain must die, says Huckabee

Apparent loser in Republican nomination may know something we don't know

McCain - good reason to be worried? Mike Huckabee might still win the Republican nomination for President. Most pundits have written him off, but now some are suggesting the Christian extremist candidate might have a secret weapon that will kill John McCain's campaign.

"Have you noticed how Huckabee hasn't dropped out even though he seems a clear no-hoper?" asked Mac Velli, chief analyst with a highly secretive Washington political PR company which has no name. "It's like he knows something we don't. It's like he knows for certain that McCain won't make it to the Republican convention."

The recent allegations about McCain's relationship with Washington-based lobbyist Vicki Iseman is evidence of a covert campaign that may originate within the Republican party itself. "Who knows how far this might go?" said Velli. "I mean, McCain's not a young guy. If he was to meet his sudden demise ... well, maybe people wouldn't ask too many questions."

Others have pointed to the fact that Mormon candidate Mitt Romney has stopped campaigning but has not officially withdrawn. "He's the anti-Huckabee camp's safety net," said Velli. "But it does mean that if McCain ... um ... meets with an accident, we'll have a choice between two religious nutjobs. Of course, that's often the case with Republicans."

Asked whether Huckabee might be implicated in a secret plot to end McCain's chances, Velli said: "Obviously, it's easy to see why Huckabee would want to see McCain's campaign die. But I guarantee you will never find an evidence trail linking Huckabee to any sudden termination of McCain's presidential hopes."

He added: "All the same, if I were McCain, I'd be worried."