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Killing with Jesus!!

'Jesus rifles' now shooting Crusader bullets

US Army is using holy ammo in its fight to bring God to Afghanistan, says General

Holy sightsFollowing the success of the US Army's 'Jesus rifles', equipped with consecrated gunsights, America's armed forces are now deploying specially blessed ammunition.

"We are doing God's work in Afghanistan," says General Moses Khan. "Now we have God's ammo to aid us."

Defence company Trijicon has sold around 300,000 of its gunsights to the US Army and Marine Corps. The sights have been specially enhanced by having references to the Bible engraved on them, turning M-16s and M-4s into 'Jesus rifles'.

"When one of our righteous boys take aim at a raghead with one of these holy sights, he feels Jesus enter his heart," says Khan, "and that helps him nail the bastard right through the head."

There have been complaints that the biblical references contravene rule that prevent US troops spreading the word of God in Iraq and Afghanisation, which are notoriously Muslim countries.

"Atheist do-gooders back in Washington want us to fail in our true mission of bringing Jesus to these poor people," says Khan. "We're here to show them that our God is bigger than their god, and what better way to do it than by shooting as many of them as we can. If that doesn't get the message across, nothing will."

Nevertheless, as a result of the protests, Trijicon will no longer include the Bible references on future sights. And the company is providing kits to the military to remove them from existing equipment.

"That's like taking away the soldiers' body armor or saying they can't shoot civilians," says Khan. "Our boys have a tough job to do and they need God on their side. That's why I'm glad we now have these Crusader rounds.

The bullets are being supplied by an unamed company in Texas via a private security company,, which is supplying 'special services' in Iraq, Afghanistan, and parts of New York.

Like the sights, each bullet is engraved with a reference to the Bible, though some carry the Crusader motto Deus Vult (God wills it) or a famous saying by George W. Bush, such as 'Misunderestimate this!'.

The Pentagon was unavailable for comment as we went to press.


Tags: firearms weapons military Afghanistan government

Comments (3)

Posts: 4
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Reply #3 on : Fri February 10, 2012, 09:30:35
Wow! You dipsticks actually believed what was written on a satirical news website (that means joke, children). Good for you, don't you feel "special?"
Posts: 4
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Reply #2 on : Sat August 14, 2010, 18:19:17
Show me one Bible verse where Jesus said "Go out and shoot the ragheads," or any verse where Jesus condones killing your enemy. Seems we've missed the point that God's Kingdom is "not of this world." And for those who want to remind me of our God given right of self-defense, don't bother. I know all about it. But don't equivocate what's happening in Iraq with working towards God's kingdom. If you read the Bible, you will see that this entire earth is passing away. Thank you.
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Reply #1 on : Mon February 15, 2010, 01:48:20
That is awesome. It does not suprise me that people want them to stop though. Who would have thought that our society would rewards us for being proud of, and embracing our Christian heritage. As a veteran of mulitple tours anythign that helps us in battle is welcome. Who cares if it upsets the enemy. News flash to the do-gooders! - They already dont like us!!! It wont matter if we upset the guys who are shooting at us.