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Death Dealer's Double Dead!!

Bin Laden look-alike killed in Pakistan

Authorities describe double as "convincing". But was it actually Ken Lay?

Ken Lay bin LadenSources close to the Pentagon have now confirmed that the person shot dead in a compound in Pakistan was a "very convincing" look-alike for Osama bin Laden.

But officials have refused to comment on rumours that the man posing as the Al Qaeda leader was, in fact, ex-Enron boss Ken Lay.

"We've known for some time that Lay was hiding out on the Afghanistan/Pakistan border," said a senior military intelligence officer who refused to be named. "As you correctly reported in the World Inquisitor some time ago, Lay had joined the Taleban and we believe he was operating under the nom de guerre of Ken bin Laden, as a way of creating confusion among western intelligence agencies. And that certainly worked."

Although President Barack Obama and other government leaders were quick to celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden, doubts crept in very quickly among a number of experts.

"Clearly, this was never bin Laden himself," said William H Carpenter, who heads the Carpenter Foundation for Governmental Conspiracy Verification. "The compound in Abbottabad was said to be luxurious - just the kind of place you'd expect to find the fugitive boss of an American corporation. But bin Laden is known to prefer caves."

According to Carpenter, the photographs of the 'dead' bin Laden show clears signs of Photoshopping. "In fact," he said, "we have evidenced that the images were manipulated by the same people who modified the Obama birth certificate photos."

Carpenter said the next step for the authorities will be to fabricate DNA evidence. "No-one has any way of checking that," he said. "They could take any DNA and say it was bin Laden's. How are we to know? And I've also heard that his body has already been buried at sea. How convenient is that?"

It's likely that US military operations will remain in place around the 'Black Caves' of Tora Bora in Afghanistan - ostensibly to locate other members of Al Qaeda, but in fact to continue the hunt for bin Laden himself.

"That's going to take some time, maybe years," said Carpenter. "And, obviously, President Obama needed a victory now, before the next election, hence the conspiracy. In any case, they're looking in the wrong place. I've been saying for years that bin Laden is actually holed up on the French Polynesian island of Bora Bora. I mean, wouldn't you?"

 

Secret Weapon in Presidential Race

McCain must die, says Huckabee

Apparent loser in Republican nomination may know something we don't know

McCain - good reason to be worried? Mike Huckabee might still win the Republican nomination for President. Most pundits have written him off, but now some are suggesting the Christian extremist candidate might have a secret weapon that will kill John McCain's campaign.

"Have you noticed how Huckabee hasn't dropped out even though he seems a clear no-hoper?" asked Mac Velli, chief analyst with a highly secretive Washington political PR company which has no name. "It's like he knows something we don't. It's like he knows for certain that McCain won't make it to the Republican convention."

The recent allegations about McCain's relationship with Washington-based lobbyist Vicki Iseman is evidence of a covert campaign that may originate within the Republican party itself. "Who knows how far this might go?" said Velli. "I mean, McCain's not a young guy. If he was to meet his sudden demise ... well, maybe people wouldn't ask too many questions."

Others have pointed to the fact that Mormon candidate Mitt Romney has stopped campaigning but has not officially withdrawn. "He's the anti-Huckabee camp's safety net," said Velli. "But it does mean that if McCain ... um ... meets with an accident, we'll have a choice between two religious nutjobs. Of course, that's often the case with Republicans."

Asked whether Huckabee might be implicated in a secret plot to end McCain's chances, Velli said: "Obviously, it's easy to see why Huckabee would want to see McCain's campaign die. But I guarantee you will never find an evidence trail linking Huckabee to any sudden termination of McCain's presidential hopes."

He added: "All the same, if I were McCain, I'd be worried."

 

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