The Revenge of PigWoman
VP wannabe Sarah Palin really is 'pigwoman' - with or without lipstick - says a government whistleblower. She is the result of a secret government breeding program that aimed to create an army of pig-human hybrids. But, according to the ex-scientist, the whole experiment went "horribly wrong".
It is the same secret program that produced ChimpMan, he says (see: 'ChimpMan scapes from secret government lab'). "Where the ChimpMan program was designed to produce violent but compliant hybrids with low intellects, and was generally successful, the PigPerson experiment ran out of control. The hybrids were meant to be docile, hard-working and, if necessary, tasty. It was a complete failure."
The scientists suspected cross-contamination between the programs, he explains.
"The whole thing should have been terminated and the evidence destroyed - eaten, if necessary," he adds. "But there were darker forces at work. The experimental subjects - PigMen and PigWomen - were taken to remote locations where it was thought they could do little damage. The one in Alaska is the only one I know about for sure, but I suspect that others have emerged - in Washington, maybe in boardrooms across the country."
PigMen and PigWomen can be recognised in a number of ways. "They never did iron out the wrinkles in the language capabilities, so they may use words at random. Faults in other nerve circuits mean that eyes may blink individually and uncontrollably. And, of course, they have short curly tails."
The Weekly World Inquisitor contacted various sources within the Beltway to confirm the scientist's claims. All refused to talk on the record but one, on condition of anonymity, said: "Most men in politics are pigs. Why should women be any different?"