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Black hole eats Moon

NASA shrinks the Moon!

Top secret space agency experiments go horribly wrong

The Moon is shrinking and by 2012 it will have vanished completely, warn astrophysics conspiracy experts. And it's all the fault of top secret NASA experiments that have gone badly wrong.

Whistleblower organization NASAConspiracyWatch has obtained images under a Freedom of Information request that clearly show wrinkles forming on the lunar surface - some of them very recent.

"It's possible that the Moon's diameter has decreased by as much as 300ft since we started taking measurements," says William H Carpenter, head of the Carpenter Foundation for Belief in Science. "After we broke the story, NASA has started trying to add its own spin, calling the shrinkage natural and ancient. It's anything but."

So-called 'lobate scarps', photographed by NASA's spy satellite, the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO), are giant wrinkles formed as the Moon's core shrinks and the surface contracts. The fact that some of these run through young craters prove that the shrinkage is recent.

Shrinking Moon 

"There can only be one explanation," says Carpenter. "Or maybe two."

He points to lunar bombing raids carried out by the US Air Force under the guise of NASA missions. "These were intended to destroy underground alien bases," says Carpenter, "but there has almost certainly been some collateral damage. It's possible that the Moon's crust has been compromised allowing the escape of gases and, you know, other stuff. Now the Moon is collapsing like a punctured balloon."

However, Carpenter says a more probable explanation is that the disappearing Moon is the result of a scientific experiment that went badly wrong. What's more, the scientists were warned this could happen.

"We're all familiar with the controversy over the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), which is purported to be buried under Switzerland," says Carpenter. "Scientists knew that attempts to create the Higgs boson with such large energies would lead to the creation of a black hole. Well, now that's happened."

Carpenter points out that scientists at CERN in Switzerland have so far failed to produce any data, or even get their collider up to full power.

"The reason is simple," says Carpenter. "The LHC isn't there. It's on the Moon."

Moon caveA secret international cabal of scientists have colluded with NASA to move the LHC to the recently discovered Mare Ingenii moon cave (pictured right). "The only thing buried under Switzerland is Nazi gold," says Carpenter.

"They've powered up the LHC, smashed those atoms and created the first artificial black hole," Carpenter adds. "And now it's eating the Moon. The problem is, once it's finished with the Moon, we're next."

 

Tech Zombies

Gov'ment uses Internet for mind control

Usenet reduces millions to witless zombies

Secret messages on the interwebsThe US Government is exploiting the Internet to enslave the minds of millions of people.

A covert operation is using secret codes buried in Internet messages to trigger bizarre brain reflexes among a large section of the population. In many cases, victims are reduced to babbling idiots with a compulsive desire to impose their delusions on the rest of the world. But some are transformed into unwilling mind-control slaves who then use the Internet to spread government propaganda and disinformation.

"These messages are distributed using Usenet newsgroups," said a leading cryptology analyst, Mr Y, who refused to be named in case his wife finds out where he is. "The people who use Usenet are known to be particularly vulnerable to these kinds of brain distortions. I mean, they're already half-way wacko."

According to Y: "Thousands of Internet users find themselves uncontrollably spewing all kinds of ludicrous theories on to the Net — stuff about UFOs, conspiracies, Lady Diana, Elvis, how the government is responsible for 9/11 and the shooting of JFK and about fraud at Enron. Weird shit that no sane person would ever believe."

He claims that the Government is doing this to discredit serious investigators in areas that might embarrass it. "By harnessing the power of hundreds of Net users they create a tidal wave of gibberish. Anyone genuine who starts looking into what's really happening at Area 51 or in the boardroooms of US corporations gets tarred with the same 'loony' brush."

But is it possible that some of the raving nutjobs might just be mad anyway?

"It's possible," says Y, "but the scores of affected people we've logged and monitored show genuine signs of deterioration once they've been on Usenet for a while. And the only explanation for that is a massive Government conspiracy using advanced technology to turn us into mind-control slaves. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to log on."