President George W Bush has returned to Washington in triumph after completing his tour of duty in Iraq. The President led a highly successful mission that also marked the completion of his military service.
"We're all relieved," said a White House aide. "Frankly, it was getting embarrassing. I mean, he started his military service in the 1960s. But this tour in Iraq really puts paid to those liberal wieners who say that this President is a deserter or a coward. He's shown his willingness to go do the job himself."
The details of the President's mission are still classified, but it's believed that he briefed the Prime Minister of Iraq, whatever his name is, both before and after the mission.
There are unconfirmed rumours that the President flew some kind of bombing mission. "We're a bit worried he thought he was bombing Vietnam," said a source close to the President. "But it's probably best not to say anything. I mean, he always felt bad about those other boys going to Vietnam and getting killed while he was playing golf with his Daddy's political backers. But hell, he was doing a job for the country too."
Many US service personnel are now on their third or fourth tours in Iraq. According to the Whitehouse press office, the President is now proud to be numbered among the veterans of this conflict.
"The several hours he spent in the country — actually in Baghdad, one of the most dangerous places — shows that this is a true War President," said a hastly issued press release. "It proves that the President is not prepared to send the boys and girls of America to do a job he's not prepared to do himself."